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Pretty poem [10 Dec 2006|03:39pm]
[ mood | twistedly weird ]

For starters,

I'd like to say this post is dedicated to Sara, a friend of mine. She really liked my journal and so, yeah!

Then it's dedicated to Niki-chan, because she's sick. Poor bitch!

We were going to see "Happy Feet", me Niki-chan and Luna. But Luna couldn't o, and Niki is sick, and I don't know why, But the only thing I want to do right now is crawl up a hole and die. Or think, because though I'm in a really morbid mood, I'm also inspired and twistedly happy.

New fic, by the way. Usual place, Harry Potter, dark theme, TomGinny pairing, angsty - yes.

And as I said, I'm weird. Very. So I want to show you a poem I found.

It's pretty! (pretty morbid) and I like it very much.

Pretty Poem

I'm going to draw a picture
I'll draw it with a twist
I'll draw it with a razor blaze
I'll draw it on my wrist
And as I draw that picture
A river will appear
And as that river flows
My troubles disappear


Told you so XD

8 comments|post comment

Passion [27 Nov 2006|09:31pm]
[ mood | passionate ]

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Truly, I know I don't usually post tests here. Mainly because I don't do them, but nevertheless!

I wanted to post this one because there was one question that really made me think. It was something like:

"What of the following interests you the most?"

The answers were: Magic; Luck; Love; Learning; Winning; Balance; Passion; Vengeance and Beauty.

Magic- It really interests me, and I was kind of leaning towards it in the beginning. The beginning, that is. After that I thought a little. It may interest me, but it isn't the most appealing one here. There's one that appeals to me much more, the one I chose.

Luck- It may be needed, but it doesn't appeal much to me.

Love- Actually, I was going to choose this one because, simply, I am a romantic through and through. I won't deny it. But I think there's an emotion I really prefer over Love.

Learning- Not really. It's fun, but not that much after I spend half my life on school- HIGH SCHOOL! I have to get used to that. Doubt I ever will before college. Sigh. High school can take the fun out of almost anything...

Winning- No doubt no. Not very competitive except in video games and things like drawing. Even there I'm relaxed.

Balance- Nope. Don't have one bit, don't relate at all.

Vengeance- Not that kind of person.

Beauty- I'm not going to be an hypocrite and say it isn't important, I like my people pretty. I can see beyond the looks, but that doesn't mean they are not needed, I like the view! I am truly a beauty appreciator. So, one of the options, but it doesn't stand a chance against

Passion- Just think about it. It's perfect to describe me and my feelings. Everything I do, I do it with passion. For heavens sake, haven't you noticed that my posts are huge?

I talk english and learn things that interest me with passion. I sing with passion. Read, hate, love, write, talk, listen, watch, cry, argue, paint, hug, live, breath, fight, family, friends, enemies, lovers, people I know, people I don't-


Because passion is a beautiful and lovely thing. It's feeling, a way of being and thinking. It is a way of life.

And I fully intend to follow it.
4 comments|post comment

A turn for the best [11 Nov 2006|12:48pm]
[ mood | chilled out ]

I think things started looking up for me.

Well, not really, but they're starting too.

First, I finally bought a new lighter. It may seem pathetic, but it's really important for me, for a reason I myself don't quite understand. There's my friends and school people that are always asking for a lighter - no idea why, but it's actually true, maybe I DO smell like cigarettes - and I like playing with the flames. Put the flame top high, light it and wave my fingers over it several times. It gives me a warm feeling.

And it's that warm feeling that makes me wanna have a lighter with me. Don't ask me why, even I think it's weird, but hey. Whatever floats my boat. I guess I'm just overly fond of them.

Second, remember my second crush? It was actually quite strong. It lasted for 6 months than it weakened because I didn't see or talk to him for a bit. I saw him and it came back full force. God, I have it for almost 2 years now. And I'm always thinking about him. Even drawing him.

I started talking to him a lot again, and I'm head over heels... again. And I don't stand a chance. But I'm content.

With the divorce thing, I started realizing some things, and I made some decisions very important:

1. I'm gonna get a scooter license as soon as I'm 16.

2. Around that time, I'll look for a job because due to the lack of an allowance, I am completely poor. That won't do.

3. I'll start going out with my friends more often and later. And get more independence in general.

4. I'm starting Karate and maybe - depends on the schedule - some other martial arts lessons. Girls gotta defend herself.

5. Guys. I am in dire need of a guy. I'm quitting waiting, I am currently missing so much by being insecure of my feelings. I don't need to be completely in love with a person like I was with nr.1 and am with nr.2. I want some practice and to start living a bit, I don't stand a chance with nr.2 so I'll have another guy.

These are basically it. A few, not so relevant ones more, but - again - not so relevant.

I'm going to start writing here more often, and my fan fiction is really coming along well, so there.

Look out, world. Here I come.

3 comments|post comment

fucked up life [22 Oct 2006|08:48pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Hello mommy's friends!

Yes, I have recently fount out that all of my mother's friends read this. Yay. And if I say something that's wasn't supposed to be said, I don't give a shit - yes, I swore, it's a first, but I'm in a bad mood.


Wouldn't you be? I mean...

Number one, I found out that I had an excess on male hormones - never good for a girl - and had to take out blood - which is worse than the problem itself for me. It would be either ovaries or a that thingy that I don't know what it's called - supra-renal? - that's right above the kidneys that would be the bad guys. It was take blood, insert liquid, wait 1 hour, take blood and be untied - you'd think I'd go willingly? Pfff...

It was the ovaries! So now I take the pill - which isn't bad 'cause babies are really loud and me young. So piss off babies! BWAHAHAHAHAh-cough cough.

For my mother - don't worry! It's just that the pill keeps those nasty seagulls away, and you know they're the ones that make babies! *insert sarcastic tone* So don't worry.... Besides, I think I'm more interested in poki than sex anyway, so you don't need to worry. (For information on poki, use google or wikipedia. Or go to the cookies area in Colombo's continente or el Corte Ingles and get addicted on Mikado - the european poki.)

Number two, I find that my pancreas doesn't like me. Pancreas or my blood - which is resistant to insulin. So I am pre-diabetic. Basically, I take pills during breakfast and lunch that are giant, horrible tasting and with side effects. Which are all active in me. Vomits, nausea, headache, lack of appetite... And I can't eat sugar or alcohol or sweets nor POKIIIIIIIIIIIII, MY SWEET POKI! *starts sobbing*

Three, I have cholestrol on my genes. And I can't eat anything with fat. Meaning I can't eat sugar nor fat. That pretty much excludes everything that tastes good on the planet. Damn.

Four - remember number 1? Yes, It wasn't just my ovaries, the thingy on my kidneys was an on it too. They're conspiring with the baldies to destroy me, I tell you! (go to http://mangarun.com/bobobo , it's worth it).

Then, school sucks. Nothing new there.

And my father got out of he house! Yes, and my parents were separated. Which basically meant I didn't sleep or the first night and on the second I had nightmares.

Oh, you may be wondering: "were"?


They are no longer separated. Why?

Because they are going to get divorced - which is so much better! - not.

So, you see, my life sucks. So please bear with the cursing.

Thank you.

Now I shall be depressed. I shall not update this again for a long time. And hoping my mother's friends will forget about this, which - not likely - because - bragging mom - so boo. And I want to dedicate my friends who are constantly cheering me up during this bad period - Monica, Mafalda, Ana, Bree, Joana and especially Wizz. Because he was the first and most special and supportive and I really love him for it.

And of course, I want to thank my mommy and daddy and brothers that are simply there for me. Because we are all going through a tough phase, but I'm the youngest so I still have that idea that my parents will die together and yadda yadda.

But in a way, it was for the best.

So thank you for bearing with my incessant ranting, because even though you're probably not reading this and not even on the site, it still feels good to just let it all out.

So thank you.

7 comments|post comment

[04 Sep 2006|12:26pm]
[ mood | mood for thinking ]

Why are my scars so stupid?

Because, really - they are. Very. Almost as stupid as my last science teacher - which isn't quite possible, but we'll tag along and pretend.

Here is the story. I love scars. Really, I do! Come on, they're sexy! And they're pretty... They are! Just go see a really good one and you'll see what I mean. And the way they are made is very important! It reflects a persons personality.

For example, If you have a scar from an accident, it means that you're reckless; If it's from a radical sport that's a yes to new experiences and excitement; If they're from camping, chopping wood - not good -, sawing, anything like that, it shows that you like the outdoors, or that you're handy and like to get the job one.

So what about stupid scars?
For that, you must understand what ARE stupid scars.

And to understand, let's give examples.

Once, I was a newborn. I had a blood test. On my toe. The one by the big one. I still have the scar.

Once, I chased a kitty. It jumped on a wall. I tried to grab it. There were cactus there. I spiked three spikes on my arm - evil ones that didn't come out. Left a scar for a while.

Once, I ran straight into a person and fell. I scrapped my knee. Then I ran again and scrapped the same knee. The scars faded a bit, but it will never be quite the same knee again. (Although it must be said that this can be considered a lucky injury because my grandmother spoiled me to death)

Once, I went to the movies. My brother went with me. He was smoking. I tried to nudge him on the ribs. My hand kissed his cigarette. I have a mark, but I have to say it was the most heat filled kiss that I'll ever get.

Once, I got the stupid habit of biting my lips. The bottom one shall forever be proof of that.

Once, I used sandals to a 30 minute walk. Toe-loop ones. When the pain was too much I walked barefoot. Then I walked barefoot on the parking lot. So long, skin between my toe! Bye bye, skin under my feet!

They're stupid. But today.... that was the best one.

Once, my brother bought one of those shaving razors. They were shinny. I didn't believe they're magic, so I played. I felt sting-y. I'm a believer. On both my hands. Thrice.

Now look at me and say my scars aren't stupid. I dare you.

And what does that mean? That I'm goofy, and happy, and cheerful. And stupid, but let's not stick to details.

1 comment|post comment

Changing the Litter's Sand! [21 Aug 2006|10:51am]
[ mood | giggly ]


And Hooray! Oh, and Cheers too!

I'm reeeeeally really squishy right now. And squeaky... So squeak!

On my father's birthday, I got a present! Yes me, my father too but that day was about me so shush. Anyways, I went to the eye doctor (which is really sweeter than ophthalmologist) and I tried for the first time contact lenses. Henceforth, I use them everyday and the world is a brighter place.

.... literally. Really, I had to close my eyes at first! I had no idea it was possible to look at the sky and see the starts an night! Because I didn't, so now the world is a big colorful happy place! Except in a good way, not in the 'oh-god-my-eyes-burn-they-burn' sense.

And onto other more pressing matters, I'm gonna pick up writing. I stopped a bit, gonna come back. With new fan fictions, and original fictions that will make you laugh - or cry, it's up to you to decide the pathetic level of them.

And I'll draw! And I'll show you - maybe... probably not, but I WILL draw so yay!

I haven't updated in a long time because I thought: 'Nobody reads this stuff, so I can be lazy - oh, wait, even if they read I would be lazy so yeah.'

But the major decision was my mom. Yeah, she blackmailed me into giving this site (not really, she just wouldn't stop bugging me so I told her) and she started reading this. So I'm hoping ri-OH, HUNGRY! *eats* -ght now that she forgot about it. Not probable, but they're is always hope.

... *munch*

So now I have to do SessKag fics (cause I wanna) and Kurotomo (see previous) and HikaHaru (see others and I'm really addicted and-just go see ouran host club) and fan art of all the above (do you notice a patern?) and all in all I'm a big ball of lazy wanting to do things.

Oh, the other day I remembered my crushes! My first REAL crushes. Cause the others, it was always 'he's cute' but never really liked them. So my short almost 15 year old life, only had two crushes. And they both failed miserably.

Second: Had a girlfriend - wich I knew and helped them get together (I know, fear teh stupid-ness XD) But it wasn't all that big of a crush, so I'm good.

First: My best friend, not gorgeous but... the cuteness! And he was funny, and though most people don't like his looks I do, and - HAIR! He always made me laugh, comforted me, he brought me to the group and he is oh so lovely. And we were writing a fanfic with our characters and me and him were a WE!

I was 'no, he's older, he's-OH, CUTENESS, HAIR!' *starts melting*

And then I was hanging with the group and I looked ahead and 'Ow. Ouch.'
He was kissing what I later found out was his girlfriend. My exact thoughts were 'Oh, oh! See there? That's called a crack! Oh, look how it breaks!' And I have to say I had my first heartbreak. Again: ouch.

Oh, and two words! Not over him. Wich are three, but nobody's counting so there.

So I'm going to write a story and draw to feel better - hence all the project thingies. So I'm happy - except since I remembered my crushes (especially the first), I'm reliving the heartbreaks ('Darn, out of duct tape!') but I'll get over it-maybe!

And that's all, and now the litter is clean and fresh - not really, but we can pretend - so that's all I've got to say!

So bye bye friends (and mommy, in case you're seeing - and mother's friends cause she gave them the link to brag and -the horror!)

1 comment|post comment

Congratulations! [23 Jul 2006|03:39pm]

Today is a special day.

It's party day!

And the guest of honor is Cira Arana: wonderful fanfiction writer she is, lovely style and great skills, she has just won a scholarship for one year study abroad in New Zealand! And isn't she lucky? *sighs*

And I finally decided, after a 6 hour discussion with my parents, that I shal go to literature, and when I go to my school to enroll, my PORTUGUESE teacher says: "We don't have that, pick another major."


Picked another school, I did. I went to my older brother's old school. And that's how you have a proud brother, never fails! And of course, you can add a dash of cinnamon for taste. And I will finally get out of my cage and will be allowed to go home alone after school. Overprotective parents allways made my grandma pick me up. Do you believe it? MY GRANDMOTHER FOR GOD'S SAKE!

*breaths deeply* I am calm. I am poised. I am balanced. I am lauhging my ass off because I just remebered that part on Pirates of the Caribbean 2 that I really liked.

Oh, I just saw it Friday! It was so... so... perfect! And Captain Jack Sparrow is sexy as hell and I want to hug and glomp and bite him and drink with him! Preferably chocolate milk or at least port wine, he can have the rum. Oh, or warm sake!

For any of you that haven't seen the movie yet, I advise it. And stay for the credits, there's a scene after them! For those who can't because of stuborn bitching (there's really no other word for it) grandmothers *cough*me*cough* You can allways go to http://www.youtube.com and search it. It's worth it, and the music is allways nice.

I shall now retire to draw a congratulations drawing for Cira Arana!

And now, je departe. Arrevoir, mon amis! *waves*

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Stupid thingie that thingie is... [01 Jul 2006|12:19am]
[ mood | contemplating on fetish n.162 ]

Forgot to put it elsewhere and I just have this enormous URGE to say it even though it's stupid.

and the thingie is.....

Don't you dettect a certain Brittish on my posts? I'm not brittish, so I wanted to know. I think I have a fetish for british! *language, never met a british boy except Eriol Hiiragizawa*

2 comments|post comment

FOLLOW THE BUTTERFLY, WEEEE~!!! *twirls* [30 Jun 2006|11:39pm]
[ mood | KAMPAI! *drinks sake* ]

Cheers, friends!

You may have noticed - or not - but just as my greet indicates, I am feeling extremely cheerful today.

I knew I would feel like this since yesterday, I wanted to go catch a movie with my brothers today. It was at night when I suddenly thought: 'I'm not doing anything at home except rooting in front of Kuro-koi (my computer). Might as well go out a bit.' And it may sound normal, but it's not. I NEVER leave Kuro-koi alone for a long period of time - last summer vacation was hell, 3 weeks without him... *sigh* Gave him a hug and a kiss and a little teary "missed you" greeting.

But getting back to the topic at hand, I hardly ever leave Kuro-koi. Poor thing, he gets lonely without my atention *pets monitor*. And I wanted to leave him today (no offense, darling) and that is not a common thing, sweetie pies.

I don't know exactly why, but that suddenly cheerful mood, dured all day, even if morning (i.e. dawn) was awfully awful. There's no other way to say it.

Although I went to sleep at 2:30, I was up at 4:30. Oh, it was terrible my nightmare. I mean, it MUST have been - for I had regressed in age. I woke up feeling like a 6 year old, on the verge of cry- oh wait, I WAS crying - and was, at the time, terribly afraid of my room. Yes, It was dark. More like greyish, but that is not the point.

The point is, I was afraid of getting out of bed, only managing it when I picked up a giant, 1 meter teddy bear, looking every corner and walking glued to the walls. Yes, I allways was a bit paranoid - still am in fact.

I went to the kitchen, clutching the teddy with all my might and lighting all the lights on my way, only to come back running because the kitchen's light took too long. I ran, left all the lights on (paren't pissed off by the way) and ran to my bed, forming a ball so small that you would think it wasn't humanly possible. And I was weeping. And afraid. And suddenly insomniac. Yes, why DO I feel giddy?

My day went normaly - snogging with Kuro-koi, eating some crackers and an apple (wich by the way makes me vomit (still trying to find source of cheerfullness)), lunch, and go on dates (download dates) with Kuro-koi. And trying to sleep and failing miserably. Brother went out the night before, got home at 14 so no movies, he slept the whole afternoon.

Oh, finally some cheerfulness! I saw Narnia again. One of the greatest comedies I ever saw. Really, when

*SPOILER* (but please read, I DO like to brag sometimes)

Tumnus or something hipnotized Lucy, the only rational thought that didn't include 'pretty fire' was 'pedophyle'. Same for queeny and Edmund, that bastard. Oh, love the beaver couple - note so self: use some of their ideas for fanfictions - and I wanted to glomp and eat that sexy little fox: the fox.

And Santa Claus reminds me of 'Vasco da Gama' - that guy who was teh first to go to India by sea. So, yeah, Dumby slightly fatter and no glasses and using Vasco da Gama's clothes = Santa Claus. And thy wonder how I have 18's in math, I'm pure genius I tell you! (18 in a 1 to 20 scale that is)

Oh, was I the only one to notice that queeny's gnome is a sex fiend? He stopped and jumped on Edmund - and I SWEAR I saw him hump!
Oh well...

*END SPOILERS* (only slightly bragging, the world is saved from my over inflated ego)

So that is the giddyness. Oh, And while I was with Kuro-koi I heard music. Like usually. And sometimes i had the urge to squeal and giggle and squeek like a giddy teenager schoolgirl - or a mouse, not much difference really - and I may be teenager, but I am not giddy. Except for fluffy and sweet things, and pretty fictional boys and romantic fics, such as Sesshoumaru and a fluffy story.

Oh, and the urge to behave like a schoolgirl a.k.a. mouse with Kuro-koi is not normal, even if I'm not that normal either...

So that was my day - where I only slept 2 hours and I'm still not sleepy - and I'll be gone now!

P.S.: I washed my hair, isn't it soft and shiny!? *jumps around*

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[22 Jun 2006|12:10am]
[ mood | ARGH! ]

Oh, dear god...

Oficially, classes ended two weeks ago for 9th graders. We were on vacation. But even on holiday, school comes back to haunt us and plague us. And I am not overdoing it.

Today was the day when every 9th grader in the country was in a room, at the exact same time, with an exam in front of them, exactly the same for everyone in the country. Really, talk about paranoic people. I finished the exam thirty minutes earlier and they didn't let me out. And we weren't allowed to have our bags with us, we could only have our ID card and a pen on the table.

It was Portuguese today - quite easy if I do say so myself. Well, easier than our regular tests, our teacher is pretty severe with us. Too severe, actually, on the last test There were 5 positives on 24 students.

Well, it started pretty badly. I couldn't sleep, so I was cranky and my eyes hurt and I was practically falling asleep in the car. I got there at 8:30 a.m. because they said to be there 30 minutes earlier. I thought it was at 9:00. It was at 11:30. Really, talk about bad luck.

It was 11 and my stomach hurt, I didn't eat well, I was sleepy and I was nervous. I was one step from running to the bathroom and let it all out. And I would too, if they letted me in. They kept us outside, and that made me even more nervous. And then, we got in - it was worse.

I don't know how I managed to avoid a heart attack, but I did. I got in, did the exam, slept a bit and got out. Yes, my dear friends, all that nervous stuff was in vain, and I got home safe and sound.

I bought a vegetarian meal, ate it (tofu and paste, you should try it!) even though I hate vegetables. I love vegetarian food, I just don't like veggies.

And I slept. Really, really slept. from three p.m. until seven, When I woke up to eat fruit. Then I ate dinner and studied and now I'm here. Yes, I finally am religious, for today I learned the meaning of hell. And dear ladies and entlemans, it is not over. I have the enxt day to study all that I learned in math during all my life and repeat this procedure friday - for the national math exam.

Firtunently for me, I can sfford to have a low grade on math - I really don't enjoy it that much. I will have above 50%, but I dont have too. I'm already going to the 10th grade.

And a new life is about to start, for this year I have finished junior high and am going to enter highschool - a new life is ahead of me.

I was first going to arts, but my mom doesn't let me so I'll go to the next big thing (if not THE best thing): I'm going to do literature. I don't know how it is in America, Bur in Portugal we choose an area (science, economy, art, literature and humanities (lawyers, history, social workers, everything else)) on highschool and then We go to college and get a major in that area.

I want to write a book. A goos one, that people will like to read and enjoy it to it's maximum. A book you can't stop reading. A book who will leave you wanting more. A BIG book. Those are the best.

I don't know If I'll stay in the same school, But I rather not. I know I have friends here, But I want to start over. So I'll be searching for another school, hopefully closer to my home. I mean, The only way between school and home now is car and bus, and the bus takes one hour, maybe more.And I highly doubt that I'm driving to school, everybosy is at work or college and I don't have a driver's license. I mean, I'm fourteen years old.

Oh well, I have written enough. No I shall relax and read, for tomorrow, I shall cram till I bleed.

And now, I bid thee farewell.

P.S. - Remember when I said that today I'm relaxing? Not working, still cranky.

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[11 Jun 2006|10:56am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Long time no see!

I didn't update for quite a long, but I need it now. I have wonderful news!
For example, I am no longer depressed. I didn't write sooner because I was still in a very bad shape. I never told anyone, but it was an awful time. I often cried myself to sleep, questioned everyone, horrible. There was even a time when I thought my family didn't like me, merely tolerated me, when I know full well that's a lie.

But back to business. I am currently addicted to InuYasha fiction. Worst, Sesshoumaru Kagome pairings. That's all I read. Well, I AM a sucker for alternate pairings. It's all I read.

I even started writing something myself! I'll put it here in the end.

As I was saying, I'm writing stories now. I wrote a cute little Oneshot, and I'm writing a big one. But I'll be making Oneshots in the middle. And I have a few fanarts too, I'll show you later.

The reason Of my excitement is my new fic! I really like, it was posted yesterday on ff.net and it already has a review! I know, happy with such petty things, but I can't help it.

Title: Isn't it Beautiful?
Genre:: Romance
Rating:: PG
Category:: InuYasha
Pairings:: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Disclaimer: I don’t own InuYasha. If I did, Kagome and Sesshoumaru would be together by now! :grins:
Summary:: During the night, souls reach out and try to find they're missing halves. Isn't it beautiful? When they do?

Read more...Collapse )

Bai Bai! :waves and grins:

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[08 Apr 2006|12:29am]
[ mood | La La La... ]

Now this is the first time I have done something of this nature, so don't expect me to know exactly how to act. They say first impressions are the most important. And for once I am extremely lucky.

Why? Because, for once, I am nor depressed nor crazy. Yet sometimes I fear this is worst for the thought of it makes me senselessly happy and leads me to a small depression. For I am n the mood for romance. It as always been my dream to find my true love, to have him embrace me and kiss me. But do not get me wrong, for I do not believe in prince charming on a white horse, to be honest I think that is the most repulsive idea since my history teacher decided to ... not my history teacher, just an old man now, decided to creep into my mind in a neon green thong, while dancing. And I tell you, the image is very creepy, but it is actually tied to prince charming.

I do not want a man that obnly says sweet things, that never says 'no' or argues with me. I want someone with a mind of it's own. Yes, someone who whispers tender things on my ear while hugging me, but not 24/7. For a prince charming will never hurt his 'oh so precious and fragile' lady.

Perfect is a man who I can argue with, be angry with and even hate at times, for there is nothing more rewarding than seeing love make both sides bend, both lovers running into each others arms, whispering words of reassurance and eternal love, promising never to let go or argue again. But they will, and again do they fight and make up, and conciliations are what makes love something so beautiful, for they are a triumph of good against evil, the power of love overcoming hate grief and such dark feelings

As you can see, I am trully head over heels for love. That's what I said about the happiness, the image of being with someone that loves me for who I am with every little flaw, I think about it and I feel my chest full of joy as if my heart is going to burst of excitement and passion. And it does explode, my heart that is. But it does not have a pleasant feeling, for with every explosion, it rips for I have not found true love yet. The final stage of my short trip to lala land: depression.

It may seem silly to you, but sometimes I feel like I am not destined to love. For even though I am very young, I suffer as I see everyone around me happy and with a look in their eyes that I long to have in my own. And I have became the official love advisor for everyone. Do not ask me why, for I do not know. I have never dated, I have never loved. I love love, and that is all, and sometimes I hate love for making me depressed. But that hate is never from my heart, for I know that I can not live without the thought of meeting someone that shall sweep me from my feet, either by good looks, charm, wit or a nasty temper.

When someone has matters of the heart to attend to, they come to me. When they are happy, my heart is happy, but longs for that feeling. When they are sad, my heart bleeds as if someone took it and squeezed it tightly. Ow, far too many times as my shoulder been wet, as I try to give confort to a heartbroken friend, my heart broken with theirs. But I cannot help it, for I want to help them, share their pain. It is too painful for someone to bear alone. And that is why I am allwaus there. Maybe that is why everyone trusts their heart on my hands, so I can ease their pain. But sometimes it is too painful even for me, And often I shatter in the night and cry, for my friends and for mmyself, for I would happily have my heart broken if I am able to feel that joyous feeling that live is before that happens.

Oh, you must be tired of hearing me talk about silly stuff. I have told one time to a friend what haunts me, and she said "Don't be silly, you're still young!" But sometimes I wonder, if I can find that someone who makes my heart go a little faster and a tinge of pink to spread on my cheeks...

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